Superwoman Gone Seriously Wrong....




I've had this post in my head for several months now, but I could never quite get my thoughts together (so forgive me if I go all over the place..). Something has been consuming my mind for quite some time....it's the thought of never being "good enough". As a mom, as a wife, as a friend...I'm just not good enough. I think we as women put so much pressure on ourselves to be what the world sees as perfect that it makes us start to go crazy. We want everyone to think we have it all together, that our house is always clean, and that our children behave like angels in public.....We rush around and pick up the house for an hour, only to say to our friend as they walk through the door, "oh, excuse the mess, the house is such a wreck." .....why do we do this?! I think it's time to give ourselves a break.....I've had so many expectations for my life that I've simply failed...and with each failed expectation came new realizations about myself.

My Failed Expectations......1). I'll be the best mom ever....
Before I had children, I pictured myself holding them, loving them, reading them stories every night, and having picnics. No one told me I would become the poop wiper, throw up cleaner, booger picker, referee, tired mom that I am. I thought I would have scheduled "school time" throughout the day, craft time, and make healthy snacks. (insert laughter here). I'm lucky if all three of my boys get their teeth brushed and change their underwear everyday. I sometimes resort to using tasty treats as a bribe for good behavior, I yell way more than I should, and my youngest will probably never talk because I don't read to him as much as I should....

2). I'll be the best wife ever.....
I've never been Betty Crocker, so why did I envision myself making lunch for my husband to take to work?? Has it happened in the last nine years? nope. I have great intentions of having fabulous dinners ready for him when he gets home, but by the time 5pm rolls around, I'm usually calling in for a pizza. I thought we would stare into each other's eyes like some romance movie and take long walks after dinner (the dinner that I purchased....). And although we stare at each other sometimes now, it's usually because one of us farted or said something stupid....not because we are dreaming of our eternity together. I thought I would wear makeup and pretty nightgowns....unfortunately, I am usually adorned with my husband's fleece pants and a t-shirt. The sound of my cracked heels scraping across the sheets is the only thing that wakes him up....

3) I'll be the best friend ever.....
We all have a friend that we can go a year without seeing and when we do finally see them, it's like we just saw them yesterday. I wish all friends were like that. Friends take work. And just like my laundry gets away from me, so does taking the time to call a friend I haven't talked to in awhile. It's easy to just stay in my own little world...besides, I'm sure everyone else is just as busy as me, right?? It's not the same to text or facebook someone as it is to send a card or bring a meal.


So why do we think we have to be more than what we are? Who is putting all this pressure on us? the world, our friends, or is it just us putting pressure on ourselves? Why do we play the comparison game? So, I challenge all of you out there to look yourself in a mirror and say, "I am perfect just the way I am".
Is my life what I "expected"? No, it's not.....it's much more!!! More than I could have ever dreamed. I am blessed beyond a doubt and I wouldn't trade any of it! Superwoman you say? Why yes, maybe I am....just not quite the one I thought I would be.











14 comments:

  1. Jennifer KlausingJune 26, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    this is probably the BEST blog I have read in idk how long. You are EXACTLY right. Us women do put so much pressure on ourselves and we care way too much about the littlest things! I am a recent mom (as of 2 weeks and 4 days ago) and I just became a stay at home mom bc of my blessing. I spend all day taking care of my little girl which wears me out and then spend the rest of the day trying to do my fiancee's laundry, clean the house, make dinner, and then try and make myself look presentable so I dont get depressed as I glance in the mirror. This is just the beginning for me and I already understand where u r coming from. I think you did a great job at putting the title "supermom" into words : )

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  2. This is sooo so true! So why are we all thinking the same thing, and yet we're all worried about being judged by each other?! Crazy! Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone! :)

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  3. Great post Nicole! As summer vacation has arrived and I'm trying to juggle my 8 year old son (with Asperger's) with trying to run my photography business, it's become so incredibly challenging and I do find myself reaching the end of my rope pretty quickly. Maybe the key is just to take a step back, relax and not be so hard on myself (and him!)

    Thanks for the great perspective.

    Lora

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  4. Nicole, thanks so much for posting this! Awesome photos to go with the blog!!! Thanks for reminding all of us not to be so hard on ourselves and to enjoy the beautiful blessings we have been given!

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  5. Michelle CurentonJune 27, 2011 at 5:26 AM

    You are simply amazing Nicole! Thank you so very much for every bit of who you are! I always enjoy your pictures and blogs, but this one, this one, is truly remarkable! I am so very glad that you took Heidi's pictures last year and that I loved them so much and that I started to follow your blog, because today, you made my day! THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU and for making all of us feel so awesome!

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  6. Wow nicole i just love this, i think you can relate to every mother, im so glad i read this, this morning i really needed to see that someone feels the same way i do! I try to be superwoman, and its just not possible.... Your really good with words, i loved it!!! Thanks so much

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  7. Priceless!! love it! women encouraging women and sharing! let's do life together!

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  8. you have written this perfectly! could not relate w/you more....i have four daughters. :) thank you for permission to not be perfect.

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  9. Lisa GoeltzenleuchterJune 27, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    You are not just a great photographer you are a great writer!! Well done superwoman!! Thanks for the words of advice.

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  10. Wow! Awesome! and so well said! Congrats from one photographer to another - not to mention wife, mother, friend! Your work is beautiful: blogs and all! I enjoy every piece!

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  11. Nicole, you are such a blessing to us all. Last week I read one of your blogs that I really needed to see and then this one today. God is working wonders with you. May He continue to urge you to bless us with your words, photography and all of your other works! Superwoman's got nothing on you (or the rest of us) :)

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  12. Nicole, I adore you. You wrote EXACTLY what I've been feeling for a long time now. I'm glad I'm not alone in the sentiment. But, for the record, I think you rock. Miss and love!

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  13. Nicole,
    This was such a great expression of what most of us feel, but don't say. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to become a part of this family. I truly could not ask for much more. And, of course, I think you totally rock!! ;)
    Holli :)

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  14. this is so amazing <3 because this is COMPLETELY me....so many expectations & I'm always feeling like I'm letting people down. I think we all just need to take a step back sometimes and think <3 thanks so much for this.

    sincerely, someone who REALLY needed it.

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